Memorial

This past Thursday, Trenton and I got to do something we had wanted to do since my 1st miscarriage. One of the most difficult aspects about a miscarriage, I think, is the fact that there is no socially recognized grieving process. The women is left to deal with massive amounts of pain and very few tools to manage that pain. After a couple weeks, the world moves on while she is still experiencing the devastating effects of her very real loss. Since I was further along with the most recent loss, I had to have a D&C. It was this reason that the hospital had the baby's remains and I had the option to lay the baby in a grave that the hospital has reserved for miscarried and stillborn babies. Each year, Penrose St. Frances holds a memorial in their chapel and then follows it with a burial of all the babies' remains. When I first received the invitation I was not planning on going. I felt it would be too agonizing- being around other women who had experienced similar pain, and I was nervous about digging up the morbid feelings I thought I had already dealt with. But I think more than anything, curiosity got the best of me.

The service at the hospital was so healing. I had the support of my wonderful husband, and Steve joined us, even though Shannon was working, which meant a lot to me. The Pastor that spoke was a women, and her words were incredibly poignant. And my concerns about being around the other woman couldn't have been further from the outcome. Being in their presence brought validity to all the feelings I have been experiencing since last August, and especially since March. I no longer feel that I'm being ridiculous for still hurting. I now know that it is okay to truly grieve because I actually lost a baby, not just a "chromosomal abnormality" or "remains of a faulty uterus." I lost a baby. This baby had a heartbeat, and lived inside of me- even if it was only for a short time. And I am so thankful the hospital has provided a way for me to honor those little people that made such a giant impact on my life.

The burial took place at Evergreen Cemetery, which is where my Grandma and Grandpa are buried. I didn't know this until that day, but apparently Evergreen is the oldest cemetery West of the Mississippi. And it is beautiful!

The headstone for the site was draped with onesies and toys, and flowers. This picture is such poor quality because it was taken by Trenton's cellphone, but it says, "In Loving Memory of our Babies- I will never forget you. I have written your name in the palm of my hand."

Until next time,
Janet, Trenton, Emma, and Benjamin

Dresser

I have been having a really fun time lately going with my Mom to the thrift store on Peterson Air force Base. We've been going together since I was 3, but it has recently become especially enjoyable because I've been paying attention to DIY shows and blogs. For instance- this PUTRESCENT dresser was $5. Storage is a major issue in our house, and I've been looking for something this size for a while now, and probably passed this dresser 10 times before realizing its transformation would be as simple as buying a couple cans of spray paint.

Spray paint, by the way, is my new favorite decorating tool. I'm sorry hot glue...you've been surpassed.

It really is fitting that Emma stand in front of this dresser. She helps so much with all my little projects. She loves painting, digging, planting, and caring for things in and outside our house. Now, if only that could translate into not drawing on the walls so they are "prettier" than I'll be really happy!

I feel so lucky to have Emma and Ben as my little buddies. I'm never lonely because of them. And it is also because of them that I laugh every single day. I'm even healthier because of them. Emma has been on this freshly squeezed orange juice kick for about a week.


I must have done something right in a previous life to be so lucky.

Until next time,
Janet, Trenton, Emma, and Benjamin

Random Summer Pictures

Until Next Time,
Janet, Trenton, Emma, and Benjamin

Memorial Day Weekend 2011

Memorial Day weekend was full of an assortment of emotions this year. We had a very fun time kicking off the summer but we were also busy helping Tim and Heather prepare for their move to Kansas. Needless to say, every activity was a little tainted by that sad, pit-in-your-stomach feeling you get when one of your best friends is moving away. We did manage to get to "Territory Days," which is always a good time. I didn't know this until this year, but the name "Territory Days" came about because Old Colorado City was the very first capitol of Colorado territory. I love street fairs. I love the sweet, salty, smokey scents floating around from the different vendors. I love all the various kinds of music you get to sample as you move along the blocks. I love being around people. I love being outside in the sun. But my favorite part of any kind of festival or fair is the food!

Don't let Emma's expression fool you. She was all OVER that turkey leg.

I thought Emma was going to fall over from excitement when she found out she was going to ride a pony. She chose the smallest (and cutest, if I do say so myself) and named her, "Sparkle."

Trenton has also been very busy building us a shed. He developed the plans on his own and I am so impressed with the progress! Thanks, Jeremy, for the help last night!

Emma and Trenton went "camping" in our backyard this weekend. They built a fire, slept in a tent and Emma even slept in it until morning. I didn't manage to get any pictures of them, but Emma did sneak up on her mom and dad to catch a picture of us kissing out on the deck.

Thank you, so much, to all that have served and will serve our country. Happy Memorial Day!

Until Next Time!
Janet, Trenton, Emma, and Ben

Farewell Tea Party

I was given a beautiful "tea cake" pan for my birthday from Heather and my mom and I was so excited to use it. I decided to throw Heather a "Goodbye" tea party before she made her move to Kansas. We were all nervous it would rain that day, but not a drop fell until the last guest was leaving. We even enjoyed the sun's company for the majority of the party.

We dined on french vanilla tea cakes that were drenched in raspberry glaze. The scones were orange-cranberry and toffee flavored. Our savory treats were cucumber sandwiches, and a variety of cheeses, meats, and crackers. To drink we enjoyed herbal mint and herbal blueberry teas. My mom set me free in the shrunk that holds all her tea pots, antique glassware, and linens, so of course I had a good time. It was pretty heavenly.

Apparently, this was also a goodbye party for Sarah. She and her family are moving to Indiana this summer. We'll miss you!

The girls brought over a lady bug they had spotted. You would have thought they found gold! I know the little girls had fun with all the daintiness and sugary treats.

But I think the big girls had even more fun!

Ben "cleaned up" after the girls once he woke up from his nap.

The only downside to this party was that we were saying goodbye.

But to quote Shelby in my favorite movie Steel Magnolias, "There are still good times to be had!"

Until Next Time,
Janet, Trenton, Emma, and Ben