Another Year Older

It has been an interesting week. As my birthday approached, Trenton kept asking me what I'd like for a gift. My answer was always, "to not be nauseated." Thankfully my wish came true and I was blessed to have an entire birthday free from queasy. On Monday, we celebrated with my family at Fargo's. Trenton had to work on Wednesday, my actual birthday, so I spent the day with my sisters and Mom. We went to the movies, shopping, and had a tea party at Montague's. It was perfect. I don't feel any different as a 26 year old, although the lady at the perfume counter asked if Shannon (who is 7 years older than me) and I were twins. I chose to take it as a compliment because, let's face it, she does look fantastic!

The day after my birthday I was sent to the birth center because I was having symptoms of pre-term labor. Seeing as how I am only 24 weeks, it was taken very seriously. Thankfully, everything is fine. After monitoring and some tests they concluded that I just happen to have an irritable uterus (I thought every pregnant uterus was irritable...ha!) which means that I tend to contract more than most and need to take it easy when the contractions are regular. I learned several things during my afternoon at the hospital. First- I am so thankful to have a husband that is willing to drop everything and come be with me during a scary time. Second- I am really excited about having this baby in a new, state-of-the-art hospital. The medical technology was one thing, but they have flat-screen TVs in every room! Third-this is really happening. I am actually pregnant with a real baby. I know what you're probably thinking, but up until that moment, I had just been trying to deal with feeling sick and getting through the months. It hadn't sunk in yet that I am responsible for making sure I carry this baby to term, giving birth to it, and then caring for it beyond pregnancy. I haven't done a darn thing to prepare for his arrival. Trenton and I have yet to buy any boy clothes, toys, bedding etc. We haven't signed up for any classes or done the hospital tour. We have no idea what we're going to name him. I suddenly came face to face with reality and my reaction was surprising...I am terrified! How am I going to take care of two babies under the age of two? Simple things- like going to the grocery store and doctor's office. Emma is just entering her tantrum stage and what do I do when she decides to fall limp in a parking lot or just runs off while I'm carrying a 20 pound car-seat? When one is sick, the other will get sick as well. How are we going to afford this? How will I be sure that Emma gets the amount of attention she deserves after the baby gets here? And none of these concerns include the worst, most primal aspect of this whole thing...I am going to have to give birth again! Emma was still wet when I was promising myself that I would never do that again. I know people say you forget, but I have not forgotten the pain and horror of labor and delivery. What if my epidural doesn't work again? What if I have to have a C-section? Right now is when Autum would lovingly say, "Janet- what if birds had machine guns? Then we'd all be in trouble." In my heart I know things will be just fine, and I know that just because I haven't purchased any boy-targeted merchandise doesn't mean that I don't look forward to meeting him. I'm just scared. And like my dad always says, "If you aren't a little nervous, you aren't human."

One thing that always manages to comfort my nerves is spending time with my family. We spent some much needed time together this weekend.

Emma enjoyed our trip to the nursery and smelled just about every flower we passed. She was also very excited about the sod that Trenton put down in our backyard. This is the first time, in the three years we've lived in this house, that we've had grass in our backyard.

Love,

Janet, Trenton, Emma, Gary, and Baby