I can't believe it has been over a month since my last post. I suppose it's a good sign that I am blogging again. I wouldn't go so far to say that I am feeling all better, but I have been able to peel my cheeks from the cold bathroom tile long enough to recognize that things are looking up. I was even able to make a quick trip to the grocery store yesterday without having to dash out from the sight and smell of food. I am prepared for the fact that there will be setbacks, but I am hopeful (for the first time in a long time) that I will actually be able to crawl out of this morning-noon-and-night-sickness-hell-hole I have been living in for the last three months. I am just not one of those women that emits this healthy, ethereal glow when she's pregnant. If I am glowing, it's only a product of the sweat from my hot flashes and waves of unbearable nausea. I don't have perfect skin, my hair is not silky and in its healthiest state, and my lips bleed every morning from being so chapped. You hear these stories, practically expectations, of pregnant women being shining examples of health and beauty. I guess I don't understand how I'm supposed to represent health when the only thing I can keep down is carb loaded and sugar saturated foods, and I feel like keeling over every time I stand up. If I sound like I have a nasty attitude, it's because I do...for now. Intellectually, I understand that this is all temporary. If my pregnancy with Emma was any indication, in a couple weeks, I'll be feeling much better. I will begin enjoying a wide variety of vitamin rich foods again, and my changing body. The dryness of my skin and hair will balance out and I'll unlock the cabinet where I stashed all of my scented candles, lotions, shampoos, perfumes and any other gag inducing contraband. But trying to reason with a newly pregnant women intellectually isn't possible! It is impossible for me to look beyond how sick I feel right now. Understanding that my nausea will let up in a month or two, and being comforted by that, is as abstract as a Picasso painting. I don't care how I'll feel in a couple months, I only care about how I can hardly choke back my lunch today. All of this being said, I am still ecstatic. During my brief, lucid moments I do try and take this all in.
In addition to being excited about this pregnancy- I still have my growing, darling little toddler to take care of. Emma has been my saving grace during this time of darkness and I will forever be grateful to her. She has changed so much in the last couple months. She is walking, talking, eating with a utensil, and drinking from a cup. She gives kisses, helps me dress her, brushes her own hair and teeth, and plays every game imaginable. Her favorite show is Sesame Street and she loves books. I guess one upside of morning sickness is that Emma and Trenton have had more than enough time to bond...and Trenton has had the opportunity to appreciate how fast time passes when you're caring for Emma, doing laundry, cooking, washing dishes, scrubbing bathrooms, and vacuuming the carpet. I am so thankful for having a husband who isn't afraid to roll his sleeves up and understands the importance and urgency of, "I need a mango-chocolate-pineapple-passion fruit Slurpee...now!"
Until next time-
love,
Janet, Trenton, Emma, Baby, and Gary
